Select Page

Tips to Help Youth and Families Handle Back-to-School Stress

While returning to school may be exciting to some children, for others the back-to-school season is a time of anxiety and heightened stress.  Whether you are a parent or an adult who works closely with youth, there are steps to take that can help young people manage stress and build a foundation for school success.

In my role with 4-H, I serve as a member of University of Florida faculty specializing in youth development and volunteer systems in the Wakulla County Extension office.  My work involves collaborating with and supporting local youth, their families, adult volunteers, and community partners.  This summer, I completed Mental Health First Aid Training, a program offered by the National Council for Mental Wellbeing.  This training is available to any interested adult or teen. Visit this site for more information: https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/.  The training was an excellent refresher that helped bring me up to date on ways to support youth and families in our community.  Mental health concerns often differ by age. What may be worrisome to your elementary school aged child has will likely differ from what will trouble your high school aged teen.

Getting the Conversation Started

Over the course of twenty-eight years and counting as an educator, I have had the opportunity to work with youth and young adults ranging from pre-school to college.   The one concern I can confidently say that

Teacher welcomes students back to school.

The new school year is about to start!

youth of any age are likely to share is a fear of the unknown.  While the unknowns change from year to year and differ between children, one way to handle potential worries is to talk about them.  Consider these conversation starters to help your child discuss the new school year:

  1. What do you most look forward to experiencing/doing this school year?
  2. If you could change one thing about the last school year, what would it be? Why?
  3. What are you most hoping to learn/do this school year?

While some children will take these questions and run with them, other children may be less eager to communicate or just less enthusiastic about the new year.  Parents may want to adjust their questions to address stressors that accompany back to school time and how to alleviate those concerns.

Tips for the Early Years of Elementary School

For younger children, driving by the school building may help alleviate nerves.  You may not get to visit a classroom inside the school until a scheduled Open House event, but seeing the place and discussing what the school day involves can help to dispel some worry.  Tips for easing the back-to-school jitters for elementary school:

  1. Establish the back-to-school bedtime routine. Helping to get sleep routines back on the school year schedule is a good first step to success.
  2. Practice the morning routine. Consider timing it. Make it a game. What steps are needed to get everyone out the door on time?   Practicing this routine for a few days will help everyone make better school day decisions such as whether to lay out clothes and school supplies the night before, make lunch or snacks the night before, and can help everyone feel less stressed on school days.
  3. Plan for lunch and practice lunch time skills. If you are sending a packed lunch or snacks, can your child open the packages without help? Does your child like what you are sending? Involving children in planning lunch and snacks can help ensure food is eaten and not wasted.

The American Academy of Pediatrics offers helpful back to school tips for kindergarten through school on the HealthyChildren.Org page located at https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/school/Pages/back-to-school-tips.aspx.

Tips to Manage Middle School

In middle school, school expectations for youth increase with each grade level.  The Nemours Foundation offers advice specific to the middle school years:

  1. Visit the school website with your youth. Review school policies together.
  2. Discuss goals for the school year together. The middle school years offer opportunities to develop organizational skills and start to make choices about how to allocate their time.
  3. Work together to develop a realistic nutrition plan. Your middle school child may prioritize sleep over a healthy breakfast. Discussing your expectations about how and what your child eats to be well-prepared for the school will help ensure they can follow a plan that works for both of you.

For more tips about supporting your middle school student for success, visit the Nemours Kids Health web page at https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/school-help-middle.html.

Tips to Finish Strong in High School

The high school years come with a different set of stressors and the concerns your child has entering ninth grade will likely be different than the concerns they have entering senior year. For youth entering the ninth grade, high school may seem intimidating.  Youth have experienced the heights of eighth grade, when they are the oldest in middle school.  Then, ninth grade rolls around and students are back on the lowest rungs of the school pecking order once again.  Add the pressure of an environment where grades and extracurricular activities may impact a child’s future beyond the high school years and the perfect formula for stress is created. How can parents support a newly minted high school student?

  1. Discuss course choices with the school course catalog as a guide. The school guidance counselor can help you locate the guide if it is not available on the school website.
  2. Determine what goals your child want to set. Do they want to take a language, join a school club, try out for a sport?
  3. Is your child leaning toward vocational studies? What requirements do they need to fulfill to enter a vocational program?

Setting academic and post-high school goals as early as eighth or ninth grade can help alleviate some stress in the final years of high school. Youth in tenth and eleventh grades will either work to maintain a positive trajectory or they will need to do self-examination to determine how to get back on a track that will get them where they want to go.  Youth at this age may be considering after-school jobs or may take advantage of dual enrollment course options.

Youth entering twelfth grade, along with their families, are about to embark on an emotional roller coaster ride.  High school seniors and their parents will experience a number of “last time this will happen” moments, beginning with the first day of school.  The final year of high school can be bittersweet.  This last year will also carry the weight of the future with it.  Some youth may find themselves overwhelmed by the unknowns and the many decisions that may be facing them as they prepare for a life beyond high school.  To ease some of this stress, have family discussions about the school year before classes begin. Plan on check ins throughout the year.  The emotions a student may feel in August may differ significantly from what they are feeling in February when peers begin to receive college acceptances.  Possible questions to ask early in senior year:

  1. What deadlines should we have on our calendar?
  2. When are payments due for college applications, senior trips, cap and gown, invitations?
  3. What parts of senior year do you want family members to experience and what part of senior year will be just for you and your friends? This is the time to start planning for sports or band senior nights, gatherings for Homecoming or Prom, and graduation parties.

Handling Challenges and Opportunities Together

List of to do items for back to school

Follow these tips to start school strong this year!

Whether you are the nervous parent of a kindergartener or the proud parent of a high school senior, the new school year will bring challenges to manage as well as opportunities to make new family memories. Planning ahead and keeping the lines of communication flowing between family members will help the school year flow more smoothly for parents and students alike. If you are looking for new youth or volunteer activities to add to your family’s routine this school year, consider contacting your local Extension office for youth activities and volunteer opportunities.

 

Additional Back-to-School Stress Management Resources

The American Institute of Stress. (2019). 15 Ways to Beat Back-to-School Stress. Retrieved July 25, 2023 from https://www.stress.org/15-ways-to-beat-back-to-school-stress.

Borenstein, J. (2019). Back-to-School Stress Management. Brain and Behavior Research Foundation.

Retrieved July 25, 2023 from https://www.bbrfoundation.org/blog/back-school-stress-management#:~:text=Each%20weekend%2C%20spend%20some%20time,likely%20to%20stick%20to%20them.

JED Foundation. (2023).  8 Ways to Lower Stress in High School. Retrieved July 25, 2023 from https://jedfoundation.org/resource/8-ways-to-lower-stress-in-high-school/.

Life Skills Focused on Teens

Figure 1. Hendricks, P. (1998) “Developing Youth Curriculum Using the Targeting Life Skills Model”

During the summertime, 4-H typically offers more opportunities for our teen audience since school is not in session as their schedules are more flexible. Because of this, we want to ensure that we are targeting skills that are specific to our teens’ immediate and future wellbeing and success.

 In this article, I will discuss why life skills are so important, what 4-H programs already established target, which life skills are most beneficial for our teens and what, when, and how teens can get involved.

WHY DO WE CARE SO MUCH ABOUT LIFE SKILLS?

We know that life skills are abilities learned that help individuals reach their full potential in life. They assist in helping folks successfully handle day-to-day life experiences. We believe they are developed through hands-on learning, activities, and practice.

Life skills are the foundation of 4-H. Utilizing the Targeting Life Skills Wheel (Hendricks, 1998), we connect life skills through 4-H projects, programs, and events to real life experiences based on our Head, Heart, Hands and Health model. By helping youth achieve these life skills, 4-H professionals and volunteers are providing the framework for future academic and employment success, as well as youth thriving and community outreach.

5 Common Life Skills Developed in 4-H: Communication, Problem-solving, teamwork, responsibility, interpersonal relationships

Five essential life skills from the Targeting Life Skills Model commonly developed by participating in 4-H are:

  • Communication
  • Problem-solving
  • Teamwork
  • Responsibility
  • Interpersonal Relationships

 

PROJECTS & EVENTS RELATED TO LIFE SKILLS FOR TEENS

Below are just a few 4-H projects and events in Florida 4-H for teens to get involved in to develop and strengthen essential life skills:

  • 4-H Tailgating Contest – This program teaches healthy living and the science of grilling seafood, pork, poultry and beef safely outdoors. This program teaches decision making, healthy lifestyle choices, and communication life skills, among others.
  • Gator Pit – The Gator Pit is a program open to all teens ages 14-18 in Florida. Youth are taught how to develop entrepreneurial skills through mentorship, competition, and networking to the business community.
  • 4-H Legislative – Florida 4-H Legislature provides an opportunity for teens ages 14-18 to experience state government procedures and prepare them for potential leadership in the American democratic process. Youth learn, practice, and defend public policy.
  • 4-H University – Florida 4-H University is an opportunity for teens to participate in educational workshops lead by UF faculty, explore potential careers, strengthen interpersonal relationships with peers, and develop critical life skills that will help them become leaders and engaged citizens in their communities.

The Florida 4-H Curriculum Clearinghouse is a list of 4-H resources available, including project curriculum, record books, club resources and other educational publications that meet the standards of Florida 4-H. In this site you can view resources for specific projects. To learn more about 4-H opportunities for teens, please contact your local UF IFAS County Extension Office, or visit http://florida4h.org.

ADDITIONAL SOURCES:

Hendricks, P.A. (1998). Developing Youth Curriculum Using the Targeting Life Skills Model: Incorporating Developmentally Appropriate Learning Opportunities to Assess Impact of Life Skill Development. Iowa State Extension Publication. https://extension.purdue.edu/4-H/about/impact-targeting-life-skills.

 Irvine, K. (2019). What are Life Skills? https://blogs.ifas.ufl.edu/nassauco/2019/02/04/what-are-life-skills/

Reflections from Graduating Seniors: Kheica Jones

Kheica’s prepared public speech at county events her senior year

I will never forget the day Kheica and little sister walked into the Jefferson County Extension Office interested in doing a 4-H Demonstration at County Events. Two shy and very timorous little girls.  Perhaps they could organize their presentation, but the thought of presenting it in front of an audience- no way! They proved me wrong. They organized their demonstration and presented it at County and District Events.  Receiving both blue 1st place ribbons and blue quality rosettes. Since her demonstration at age ten, Khecia made a lasting impression in Jefferson County 4-H.  She embraced 4-H slogan “Learning by Doing” wholeheartedly as a member.

Khecia’s first 4-H team demonstration, as a junior

As a junior and intermediate 4-Her, Kheica was a member the Elite Sewing Club.  She also served as president of the Jefferson Elementary School Clubs (both 3rd & 4th grade years). She also participated in consumer choices judging contest and received the highest individual score at the North Florida Fair.

As a senior 4-Her, Kheica served as president and vice-president of the Jefferson County Teen Council. Last year, she participated in general public speaking at the county, district & state levels. This year Kheica will be doing a team demonstration at 4-H University entitled: Creamy Shrimp Linguine. She served on the 4-H NW Teen Retreat Planning Committee. This summer will also be her fourth year as a camp counselor at the day and overnight summer camps.

Khecia has helped plan several community service projects, including a roadside clean-up this spring.

Giving back to her community is paramount to Kheica. She has accumulated over 400 hours of community service hours from roadside cleanup, the 4-H Nature Trail Clean up, northwest Florida service project (Chemo Kits for Cancer Patients), nursing home visits, and landscaped the senior citizen center.

When I asked Kheica what life skills she learned that she attributes to 4-H, she shared: “I have learned life skills such as teamwork, dedication, and perseverance. I have also learned the important of community service.”  Kheica said her most memorable moment as a junior 4-Her was participating in 4-H Tropicana Public Speaking and doing her demonstrations at County & District Events.

Khecia Jones, an exemplary student, achieved top honors as Valedictorian of the 2017 graduating class. After graduation, she plans to attend FAMU on a full scholarship and major in Biomedical Sciences.

Our heart is content knowing that Jefferson County 4-H equipped this young woman with tools necessary to be successful post high school.  Jefferson County 4-H takes pleasure in wishing Khecia Jones much happiness and success in her future endeavors, and we invite her to join 4-H as a volunteer to help other youth benefit from 4-H the way she has!”

If you are interested in joining 4-H to learn leadership and communication skills, or if you would like to help teach youth in your community as a 4-H volunteer, contact your local UF IFAS County Extension Office or visit http://florida4h.org.