Friday Funny:  Cowboy Ropes Bike Thief at Walmart

Friday Funny: Cowboy Ropes Bike Thief at Walmart

cowboy-ropes-bike-thiefThis is not a joke.  This really happened!  An Oregon cowboy went to Walmart to get some dog food.  He heard a lady scream for help,  jumped on his horse, roped a bike thief in the Walmart parking lot,  and then called 911.  Check out the CBS News video.  The tape of the 911 call is hilarious.  Many times true stories are the funniest.

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If you enjoyed this week’s joke, you might also enjoy others from previous weeks: Friday Funnies

Farm folks always enjoy sharing good jokes, photos and stories.  If you have a good, clean joke, particularly one that pertains to agriculture, or a funny photo that you took on the farm, send it in and we will share it with our readers.

Friday Funny: How Dry is It?

The Florida Panhandle, like a large portion of the Southeast is experiencing serious drought this fall. While drought is hardly a laughing matter, humor does have a way of easing the anxiety.  The following are just a few jokes to share with friends and neighbors as you discuss the current drought.

It’s So Dry

When a Panhandle town finally got a brief shower it caused quite a commotion.  One of the town’s residents was disturbed by the noise and went outside to see what was happening.  Water falling from the sky was such a shock that the man fainted.  They had to throw two buckets of dust in his face to revive him.

its-so-dryIt’s So Dry

Instead of using boats, people are fishing from lawn chairs with slingshots.

It’s So Dry

Birds are building their nests out of barbed wire.

It’s So Dry

Cows in the Southeast are only producing evaporated milk.

It’s So Dry

Church leaders have gotten together to do their part to conserve water.  Until further notice, Baptist churches will baptize by sprinkling, Methodists will baptize with wet-wipes,  Episcopals will issue rain checks, and Catholics will pray for wine to turn back into water!

Use the comment box below to share your favorite ‘It’s So Dry______”

 

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If you enjoyed this week’s joke, you might also enjoy others from previous weeks: Friday Funnies

Farm folks always enjoy sharing good jokes, photos and stories.  If you have a good, clean joke, particularly one that pertains to agriculture, or a funny photo that you took on the farm, send it in and we will share it with our readers.

 

Friday Funny: The Deer Hunters’ Debate

Photo credit: Digital Photography by Jeff Bryant

Photo credit: Digital Photography by Jeff Bryant

Four true friends from a local church joined together on Saturdays at a local farm during deer season.  There was the farmer who provided the land, a doctor who was skilled at cutting up the meat, a lawyer who provided the hunting buggy, and the preacher who always had a story to share.

One Saturday, the group had hunted together all day with no luck.  When they got back to the hunting buggy they saw a magnificent buck emerge from the woods.  He was huge! This was a mature, 12-point buck.  They all raised their rifles and fired at the same time.  The deer went down.  An argument immediately ensued as to whoa fired the shot that actually killed the buck.

About that time, the local game warden drove up, who knew the foursome well.  He said he had heard them arguing and asked what it was about.  They told him it was about who had actually shot the buck.  After checking all their licenses to make sure they were hunting legally, he said he would go look and see who shot the buck.  They asked him how he was going to find out.  He told them to just wait at the vehicle.

When the game warden returned, he congratulated the preacher on his fine kill.  The other three began arguing again.  “How do you know that for sure?” they said.  The game warden replied,“If the lawyer had killed it, he would have shot it in the rump.  If the doctor had killed it, he would have shot straight through the heart.  If the farmer had killed it, the shot would have been through the neck to save the best meat.  But there was no doubt, however, that the preacher was the one who shot it, because the bullet went in one ear and out the other.”

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If you enjoyed this week’s joke, you might also enjoy others from previous weeks: Friday Funnies

Farm folks always enjoy sharing good jokes, photos and stories.  If you have a good, clean joke, particularly one that pertains to agriculture, or a funny photo that you took on the farm, send it in and we will share it with our readers.

 

Friday Funny: The Nosy Store Manager

hardware-store-managerLast week a store manager at a local hardware store overheard the clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.

Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.”  The lady turned, glared at the store manager like he was an idiot, and walked out the door.

Furious, the manager went straight over to the clerk with a sour look on his face.  The manager drew the clerk aside and growled, “Never, never, never, never say we don’t have something. If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?

The clerk replied, “Rain.”

 

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If you enjoyed this week’s joke, you might also enjoy others from previous weeks: Friday Funnies

Farm folks always enjoy sharing good jokes, photos and stories.  If you have a good, clean joke, particularly one that pertains to agriculture, or a funny photo that you took on the farm, send it in and we will share it with our readers.

Email to:  Panhandle Ag Friday Funny

Friday Funny: The Pistol Packin’ Widow

widow-with-big-purseJohn and Mary were married for 56 years, and lived on the farm they cherished that had been in their family for three generations.  After John died in 2010, Mary decided to keep living on the farm, but passed the business operation on to her son and grandsons.  While her family was on the farm almost every day working the land, Mary was home alone nights and weekends, and became concerned for her safety.  She decided to purchase a pistol, and completed a concealed gun carry course, so that she could defend herself.  As time went on Mary grew more feeble and only traveled to town for church, doctors appointments, and groceries.  Wherever Mary went though, her snub-nosed 38 was with her in her oversized purse.

One afternoon, after Mary had finished her shopping, she returned to her car and found four males in the act of entering her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and cane, drew her handgun from her purse, and screamed at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it!  Get out of that car!

The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. Mary, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.   She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why? A few minutes later, she found her own car (that was the same color, make and model) parked four or five spaces farther down.

Frustrated and upset with herself, she loaded her bags into her car and drove down to the police station. She shared her embarrassing story with the police sergeant on duty at the front desk.  She said, “I swear it looked just like my car, and it was parked in the same area as mine!”

The sergeant chuckled and then couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter where four pale men had reported a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than six feet tall in a green dress, curly white hair, with a cane, a rather large purse, and a handgun.  Not quite as amused as the sergeant, the men dropped all charges after hearing her story.  The sergeant just smiled at Mary and said, “Well If you’re going to have a ‘Senior Moment,’ make it a memorable one!”

 

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If you enjoyed this week’s joke, you might also enjoy others from previous weeks: Friday Funnies

Farm folks always enjoy sharing good jokes, photos and stories.  If you have a good, clean joke, particularly one that pertains to agriculture, or a funny photo that you took on the farm, send it in and we will share it with our readers.

Email to:  Panhandle Ag Friday Funny

 

Friday Funny: Respect for Your Elders

angry-fanA male college student and a much older alumni sitting in front of him had a heated exchange at a recent college football game.  The young man was enjoying heckling the coaches and players and shouting obscenities at the referees.  The older gentlemen put up with this rowdy young man through the first quarter, but when he could not take much more he stood up and turned around to face this obnoxious college student.

He said, “Son, there is no reason to carry on like you are.  You need to cheer the team on, instead of shooting off your foul mouth and constantly putting them down.”  The college student frowned and then challenged the alumni sitting in front of him saying,  “It is impossible for your generation to understand mine!”  “You grew up in a different world,” the student said loud enough for the whole section to hear. “Today we have the internet,  flat screen TVs, smart phones,  no longer is the Moon our exploration destination as our spaceships have visited Mars, We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing …. and uh..”

Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s tirade, the older man snapped back, “You’re right. We didn’t have those things when we were young; We invented them, you little twit! We made the world a better place to live rather than complaining every time things didn’t go our way.  And just what are you doing for the next generation?” 

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If you enjoyed this week’s joke, you might also enjoy others from previous weeks: Friday Funnies

Farm folks always enjoy sharing good jokes, photos and stories.  If you have a good, clean joke, particularly one that pertains to agriculture, or a funny photo that you took on the farm, send it in and we will share it with our readers.

Email to:  Panhandle Ag Friday Funny