As the holiday season quickly approaches, many people are filled with extra holiday cheer and enthusiasm. Some are jolly, but still overwhelmed with all of the activities, decorating, and shopping that needs to be completed. Then, there are those that find the holiday season as a reminder of things such as, the death of a loved one, family feuds, divorce, and the list goes on. If you are feeling this way here are a few tips to make getting through the season a little bit easier.
1. Feel your emotions – Many people want to suppress their sadness or anxiety, but this only makes it worse. We are all allowed to grieve, cry and feel mad at times. If you feel this way, let yourself feel your feelings. You will feel better once you have accepted and worked through the emotions. You also do not have to force yourself to feel happy just because it is the holiday season.
2. Reach out to others – Instead of secluding yourself spend time with others, whether it is at church, a community group or with family and friends. Spending time with others and socializing is good for the spirit. In addition, there are tons of volunteer opportunities during the holidays. Try something new and volunteer your time to a worthy cause. You will feel great about helping others and contributing to the cause. Research such as this one conducted by UnitedHealth Group commissioned a national survey of 3,351 adults and found that the majority of participants reported feeling mentally and physically healthier after a volunteer experience. The research showed:
96% reported that volunteering enriched their sense of purpose in life
94% of people who volunteered in the last twelve months said that volunteering improved their mood
80% of them feel like they have control over their health
78% of them said that volunteering lowered their stress levels
76% of people who volunteered in the last twelve months said that volunteering has made them feel healthier
About a quarter of them reported that their volunteer work has helped them manage a chronic illness by keeping them active and taking their minds off of their own problems
Volunteering also improved their mood and self-esteem
3. Be realistic – Realize that times and traditions change as families grow and age. Do not focus on everything having to be the same every year. Be willing to accept changes, such as adult children may not be able to attend the family gathering, so utilize technology and talk through video conferencing, share pictures on email and/or Facebook. Find a way to make it work.
4. Set aside differences for everyone’s sake. Aim to accept family and friends the way they are, even if they do not meet your expectations. Leave grievances at the door for the day and enjoy your family and friends. Share those grievances and talk at a more appropriate and private time. Also, remember they could be feeling the stress of the holiday too. So, be patient if someone is grouchy or sad as you celebrate. You may both be feeling the same way.
5. Learn to say no – Be realistic in the number of activities you and your family can participate. Do not feel guilty because you cannot attend every party and event you are invited too. Graciously decline an invite and share that your schedule is booked, but thank them for thinking of you. A host does not expect that everyone will attend their parties.
6. Take a breather as needed – If you start to feel overwhelmed with anxiety, anger or sadness take a few minutes to be alone. Take 15 minutes to spend in the quiet to reduce the stress and clear your mind. For example: listen to soothing music, do a few mindful breathing exercises to slow yourself down or read a book to temporarily escape the stress.
7.Seek professional help as needed – there are times when the emotions are just too overwhelming to sort through on our own. If you continue to feel sad, anxious, angry, etc. there is absolutely no shame in seeking the help of a doctor or mental health professional. It will only help you work through your feelings with a non-bias person. Helping yourself feel better will improve your quality of life and those around you.
Do not let the idea of the holidays turn you into a modern day Ebenezer Scrooge. Learn to take care of yourself first. Learn your limitations and accept them. Do not let others’ expectations overwhelm you. Just remember when you start feeling extreme levels of emotions and/or stress take a few deep breathes and remind yourself to relax and feel the moment. Be mindful of your surroundings and remind yourself of your many blessings, even when going through difficult times. Make it your personal goal to feel your feelings and enjoy what you can about the holiday season, whether it is the twinkling lights, time with friends and family, the food or any of the many special holiday traditions.
Aim to find JOY during this holiday season.
Sources:
Stress, depression and the holidays: Tips for coping. www.mayoclinic.org,
It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year… for Criminals, Thieves and Scammers
Photo source: UF/IFAS Northwest District
This holiday season scammers and identity thieves are hoping to take advantage of shoppers who may be too preoccupied with travel, gift-buying, and festivities to notice. Therefore, during the holidays, it is even more important to remain vigilant while shopping in stores or online.
More people are turning to online shopping for their holiday gifts. The National Retail Federation forecasts consumers to spend about $721 billion this holiday season. However, this increase in online spending comes with a greater risk for thieves to steal your money or your identity.
Here are some common holiday scams and how to protect yourself from becoming a victim:
Deals That Are Too Good to Be True –while shopping online keep the old adage in mind, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is”. During the holidays, shoppers are looking for huge deals, and scammers know it. These thieves often set up websites that appear to be legitimate, just to steal your personal information and/or to download a virus onto your computer.
It is important to make sure any site in which you shop contains an HTTPS security designation. Another simple way to know if the website is authentic is to look for the padlock symbol that appears in the address bar of the retailer. Here is an example of an Amazon online address bar.
Holiday Phishing Scams – Around the holidays, beware of emails pretending to be sent from familiar companies like FedEx or UPS. These emails claim to provide links for package tracking information. These links, once clicked on, will either steal your personal information or download a virus onto your computer. Remember, if you receive an email from someone you don’t know or weren’t expecting an email from, you should never click on links. Also, make sure you are using current antivirus software on your computer.
Identity Theft and ATM Skimmers –
In Store Shopping:
Being vigilant is key to protecting yourself during the holiday season. Thieves target shoppers who are either struggling with packages and bags or those who are unaware of their surroundings. Thieves see this as an opportunity to steal your wallet or credit card numbers.
When using an ATM or other key pads, make sure to check for skimming devices that thieves install on ATMs and other card readers. These skimmers are placed over the existing key pad in order to access your account. It is also advised to cover the keypad when entering your pin number while purchasing items or getting money from an ATM
After each purchase, take time to put your credit card back into your wallet. Also, it may be worthwhile to purchase an RFID-blocking wallet. These wallets are designed to shield your credit card information from RFID readers and skimmers..
Online Shopping:
When shopping online, experts advise consumers to use credit cards instead of debit cards. In case of fraud, both payments types can be disputed, however debit card payments are automatically deducted from your bank account. Therefore, it may take longer to get your money back.
Gift Cards– Gift cards are a great idea for people on our shopping list. However, a record number of retail stores are closing their doors, so you should consider the retailer’s financial situation before buying a gift card. If the retailer closes or declares bankruptcy, the recipient may not be able to use the gift card.
Package Delivery Theft- Having packages delivered to our homes makes us a target for thieves who case neighborhoods and even follow delivery trucks looking for packages sitting on porches. There are ways to prevent this from happening to you. You can have your packages delivered to their office, a local pick-up area, like a UPS Store or try to schedule delivery times when someone will be home, if possible. Online shoppers can also set up tracking notifications, to know when an item is delivered.
Charitable Giving Tips – Give to charities wisely. At this time of year, we all want to give to charities that pull on our heart strings. But beware of giving money to charities that are fake or irresponsible. Do your research to make sure to support the many legitimate and deserving charities that can use our help during the holidays.
The 2018 Consumer Protection Guide – This guide provides more information about protecting yourself as a consumer, including online identity theft, charity scams, item recalls and more.
The holiday season brings out the best and worst in people. Therefore, you should be vigilant because the holidays are a lucrative time of year for thieves and scammers who are trying their hardest to get into your bank account.
For more tips on how to keep your identity safe and avoid holiday scams, contact Laurie Osgood, UF/IFAS Extension, Gadsden County at Osgoodlb@ufl.edu or call (850) 875-7255.
The holidays are a wonderful time and for some families, it may be the only time everyone is together.
Having multiple generations together can make the holidays an ideal time to have some estate planning discussions.
Estate Planning Photo source: Julianne Shoup
Too often, family members are hesitant to talk about estate planning and they never form a plan. There’s no one way to start this conversation, but one way to bring it up is to refer to materials you have read recently or another family you may know who is going through the estate planning process.
Bringing Up Estate Planning
You could say, “Do you know so and so, their parents passed away recently and they have had so many problems because they didn’t have a plan in place. I think we should sit down and talk about some of those things so that doesn’t happen to our family.” Or, “I was reading an article about estate planning the other day and how important it is to talk about it with your family and create a plan. I think I’d like to sit down and talk with you all while you’re here for the holidays.”
Tips for Smooth Conversations
If you choose to start these conversations, remember estate planning can be a sensitive topic for all generations involved. Below are some tips on communicating and dealing with conflict from the University of Minnesota Extension.
Remember to be a good listener, listening for meanings and feelings behind words.
Respect the views of others. Even if you can’t agree, you can still show sensitivity and respect for each other’s feelings.
Try to use “I” statements instead of “you” statements to convey feelings. It’s important to express feelings, but try to do so in a way that does not place blame.
If conflict arises, try to discuss and clarify the problem and make a commitment to work toward a solution.
Remember to focus on why you are having conversations about estate planning. Having a plan helps prevent conflict down the road, helps create a smoother transition to the next generation, and will help give you peace of mind.
Passing On Personal Belongings
One aspect of estate planning that can be overlooked is passing on family heirlooms. Grandparents can often be surprised by what has meaning for their children or grandchildren if they have never talked about it. The holidays can be a great time to have discussions with family members about what items are special to them, if there are family stories behind items, and how certain items can be distributed either before or after the death of a family member.
Many times grandparents may choose to pass items on while they can still enjoy giving those items to the next generation. Another method is to create a list of items and use a personal property memorandum attached to your will. There are many ways to deal with personal property and each way has advantages and disadvantages, but establishing what your goals are and getting the process started are key.
May is Older Americans Month – Photo credit: Wendy Meredith
“Grandparents Raising Grandchildren” are grandparents who are caregivers for their grandchildren. They have obtained temporary custody or have adopted because the grandchildren’s biological parents often are either incarcerated for crimes related to drugs and/or alcohol addictions or the parents are deceased due to their lifestyles and addictions. The UF/IFAS Escambia County Extension Expanded Food and Nutrition Education Program (EFNEP) has partnered with the Council on Aging in our area to work with these “great” grandparents. EFNEP is a series of nine lessons. We teach parents and grandparents raising grandchildren the knowledge, skills, and behaviors needed to raise healthy families.
What EFNEP Offers Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
Welcome!
Eating Smart Being Active. Tell us your story – we listen to you. We share helpful resources available in the county.
Get Moving!
Let’s Be Active. Learn Physical Fitness with Exercises and Games for the family. Drink Water.
Plan, Shop, and Save!
Plan for nutritious meals and recipes. Shop on a budget and save money.
Fruits and Vegetables Half Your Plate!
Make simple, family-friendly recipes using fruits and vegetables. Use all varieties including what’s in season and grown locally. Learn about important family vitamins, minerals, and dietary fiber.
Make Half Your Grains Whole Grains!
How many grains do I need a day? Why is it important to eat grains?
Go Lean with Protein!
What are animal proteins? What are plant proteins? How much protein do you need each day? What is a lean protein?
Build Strong Bones!
What are sources of low-fat or no-fat dairy? How many servings does your family need each day?
Make a Change!
What are good ways to get rid of too many fats, salts, and sugars from your families’ daily meals and snacks?
Celebrate!
Each EFNEP participant receives a certificate of completion to frame and hang in their home.
Why are Grandparents Raising Grandchildren?
The opioid epidemic is affecting so many families and, really, these folks should be enjoying retirement and their “Older Years.” We are here to supply grandparents who are raising grandchildren with education and tools that equip them to raise healthy and happy children.
EFNEP aids in the challenge with recipes, activities, cooking skills, and researched info. Then we educate about nutritious foods, food safety, physical activity, and how to shop for food on a limited budget. We also provide fresh produce grown, harvested, and donated by the Extension Master Gardeners for in-class recipe tastings. We have, on occasion, taken the grandparents to a local grocery store to “put into action” what they have learned in the EFNEP classes. Each one is given a challenge to purchase a healthy item from each of the five food groups with money that is provided for them.
We also are currently working with Fresh Access Bucks (FAB), which enables us to share with our Grandparents Raising Grandchildren the locations and times of local Farmers Markets and Produce Stands that are FAB partners and accept SNAP and WIC when purchasing Fresh Florida Grown Produce.
Raising children can be hard in our younger adult years. Raising children in our “Older Years” can be extremely challenging, overwhelming, or downright exhausting. Through our partnership, we have been able to help the grandparents by eliminating some of their everyday stresses. We do this by offering them fun, factual, and fresh ideas about nutritious foods and how to prepare yummy, kid-approved snacks and meals. Working with the grandparents has been and continues to be very rewarding. They are always eager to learn and they are committed to the program. And they are so grateful for our involvement. The big smiles on the faces of the Super Grandmas and Super Grandpas say it all!!!
Recently, in what I thought would be a quick Saturday errand, I got stuck in traffic. It took me a moment to realize that the holidays are upon us.
According to the National Retail Federation (NRF®), from Thanksgiving Day through Cyber Monday, more than 174 million Americans shopped in stores and online during the five-day holiday weekend, beating the 164 million estimated shoppers from an earlier survey. In fact, shoppers spent $1 million a minute on Black Friday and about $6.6 billion in total on Cyber Monday. The NRF® also found that consumers, both young and old, were spending morethan last year, with both groups using the internet to browse for the best deals.
While it appears many consumers can spend unrestrained during the holidays, a lot of consumers find the holiday season stressful. Holidays require a lot of planning, and of course time and money.
A sensible way to approach the holiday season is to decide up-front what best fits the path you want to take. Come up with a plan, make a list (check it twice), and then stick to it. You will be amazed at how this simple list trick can relax you and make your holidays more enjoyable and less stressful.
The American Financial Services Association Education Foundation has some useful ideas for using a holiday spending plan. First, create a holiday budget that is feasible for you, and be sure to include all the incidentals from decorations to wrapping materials. Next, prepare your list(s), then do your homework. There is a lot of competition for the consumer’s money, and searching the web not only for information but also for the best deals can help you stick to your budget and save some money (Example: some stores honor other store’s pricing).
Other ideas to help stay within your budget this holiday include:
Draw names with set limits on gift giving (Example: Aunt Marge – $15.00)
Make a gift (Example: Cranberry muffins)
Provide a service (Example: tackle a chore for a friend, neighbor, or loved one)
Switch to giving gifts of experience (Example: tickets to an event) The gift of experience can be both practical and educational, and moreover, memories are worth more than stuff!
Try not to get bogged down by holiday spending this holiday season. I encourage you to create a plan, write up a list (check it twice) and stick to it. You will be glad you did!
The University of Florida Extension/IFAS – Leon County is an Equal Employment Opportunity Affirmative Action Institution.
