Thanksgiving, like other holidays, promises gratitude and togetherness, but it can also bring stress, awkward moments, and even indigestion. As family members gather – from near and far – to share a meal, navigating conflicting personalities, differing opinion, and the drive for perfection can make hosting feel daunting. To help ensure a peaceful (and maybe even enjoyable) holiday, here are a few Thanksgiving dos and don’ts.

DOs

  • Set Realistic Expectations. While many dream of a picture-perfect Thanksgiving, real life is rarely like a cheesy holiday movie. Accept that things might not go as planned, and those imperfections are perfectly fine. Instead of pursuing perfection, aim for a day where everyone has moments of enjoyment, even if brief.
  • Plan Ahead. Hosting Thanksgiving can be overwhelming—you’re the cook, cleaner, and event planner all in one. Schedule tasks into manageable chunks over the course of a few days, prepping dishes in advance, and delegating responsibilities. Ask your guests to bring sides – this lightens your load and involves them in the holiday prep.
  • Choose Your Seat Wisely.  Sit near family members you get along with. If you’re arranging seating, separate personalities likely to clash to keep the atmosphere peaceful.
  • Take Care of Yourself. Schedule time for yourself before, during, and after Thanksgiving. It can be a short walk, meditating, or a quick and quiet escape to play a video game or watch a movie. If you are unable to leave a stressful situation, calm yourself with five slow, deep breaths.
  • Learn to Let Things Go. Family quirks and annoyances are part of the package. Practice patience and remember, it’s just for a short time.
  • Remember the Reason for the Season. Reflect on or share what you are thankful for—whether it’s a good meal, health, a roof over your head, or time with loved ones. Focusing on gratitude can be a great tool to shift the mood toward positivity.

DON’Ts

  • Dominate the Conversation. Thanksgiving is for catching up with friends and family, not just talking about yourself. Be mindful, and make space for others to share, especially if it’s been a while since you have seen them.
  • Try to Fix Problems. Now is not the time for unsolicited advice or life coaching. One conversation over what is supposed to be a happy meal won’t mend a marriage, convince someone to start a family, make someone a better parent, or get them to hit the gym.
  • Discuss Sensitive Topics. Subjects like politics, religion, or lifestyle choices are best left off the dinner table. Even well-meaning questions like “When are you getting married?” or “When can I expect grandchildren?” may seem innocent but can make people uncomfortable. Stick to lighter topics that bring people together, such as favorite family traditions, upcoming plans, or funny memories from past Thanksgivings, this helps create a positive, welcoming environment for everyone.
  • Drink Excessively. Some people become argumentative or aggressive when drinking, which can escalate tensions. Avoid these individuals if they get rowdy, and prevent them from driving. If this is an issue for you, consider mocktails or non-alcoholic drinks.

Thanksgiving does not have to be a stressful situation. By prioritizing your well-being and keeping gratitude at the forefront of the celebration, you can make Thanksgiving a meaningful, enjoyable day—flaws and all.

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Suzanne Holloway
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