Friday Funny: Top 20 Cow One-liners

This is somewhat of a departure from the normal Friday Funny jokes, but after attending the Annual Florida Beef Cattle Short Course where they encouraged ranchers to tell their story, I thought I would share these one-liner cow jokes. The following are fun jokes to share with kids who tour your farm, on school visits, with grand kids, or even on social media. These are my top 20 cow jokes. Read to the end they do get better. Use the email link at the end to share your favorite one-liner cow joke that I may not have seen

# 20 When cows get sick what do you call it? Hay Fever

#19 Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way

#18 Why don’t cows have money? Because farmers milk them dry

#17 Why did the cow kick Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher

# 16 Where do steers go to dance? The Meat Ball

# 15 What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A Milkshake

# 14 What do you call a cow with no ears? Call her all you want, she won’t hear you

# 13 Why do cows were bells? Their horns don’t work

# 12 What do you call cows with a sense of humor? Laughing stock

# 11 Why don’t cows understand what you say? Because it goes in one ear and out the udder

# 10 How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down

# 9 Where do baby cows get their food? The cafeteria

# 8 What is the most important use for cowhide? Holding the cow together

# 7 What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean Beef

# 6 What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef

# 5 What do you call a cow that won’t give milk? An udder failure or a milk dud

# 4 What do you call sleeping male cattle? Bulldozers

# 3 What do you get from pampered cows? Spoiled milk

# 2 Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump a barbwire fence? It was an udder disaster

And my all time favorite:

# 1 What do you call a cow after she has given birth? Decaffeinated

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If you enjoyed this week’s joke, you might also enjoy others from my collection: Farm Jokes

Farm folks always enjoy sharing good jokes, photos and stories. If you have a good, clean joke, particularly one that pertains to agriculture, or a funny photo that you took on the farm, send it in and we will share it with our readers.

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Doug Mayo

Jackson County Extension Director, Livestock & Forage Agent, Lead Editor for Panhandle Ag e-News
demayo@ufl.edu - 850-482-9620
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