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Friday Funny: Top 20 Cow One-liners

talking bull graphicThis is somewhat of a departure from the normal Friday Funny jokes, but after attending the 65th Annual Florida Beef Cattle Short Course where they encouraged ranchers to tell their story I thought I would share these one-liner cow jokes.  The following are fun jokes to share with kids who tour your farm, at school visits, with grand kids, or even on social media.  These are my top 20 cow jokes.  Read to the end they do get better.  Use the comment box below to share your favorite cow joke one-liners that I may not have heard yet.

# 20  What did the calf say to the silo?  Is my Fodder in there?

# 19  When cows get sick what do you call it? Hay Fever

#18  What do you get from cows in Alaska? Ice cream

#17  Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way

#16  Why don’t cows have money? Because farmers milk them dry

#15  Why did the cow kick Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher

#14  Where do steers go to dance?  The Meat Ball

# 13  What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A Milkshake

# 12  What do you call a cow with no ears?  Call her all you want, she won’t hear you

# 11  Why do cows were bells?  Their horns don’t work

# 10  What do you call cows with a sense of humor? Laughing stock

# 9  Why don’t cows understand what you say? Because it goes in one ear and out the udder

# 8  How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down

# 7  Where do baby cows get their food? The cafeteria

# 6  What is the most important use for cowhide? Holding the cow together

# 5  What do you call a cow with no legs?  Ground Beef

# 4   What do you call a cow that won’t give milk? An udder failure or a milk dud

# 3  What do you call sleeping male cattle?  Bulldozers

# 2   What do you get from pampered cows? Spoiled milk

And my all time favorite:

# 1  What do you call a cow after she has given birth?  Decaffeinated



If you enjoyed this week’s joke, you might also enjoy others from previous weeks: Friday Funny

Farm folks always enjoy sharing good jokes, photos and stories.  If you have a good, clean joke, particularly one that pertains to agriculture, or a funny photo that you took on the farm, send it in and we will share it with our readers.

Email to:  Panhandle Ag Friday Funny



Author: Doug Mayo - demayo@ufl.edu

Lead Editor for Panhandle Ag e-news – Jackson County Extension Director – Livestock & Forages Agent. My true expertise is with beef cattle and pasture management, but I can assist with information on other livestock species, as well as recreational fish ponds.


Permanent link to this article: http://nwdistrict.ifas.ufl.edu/phag/2016/05/06/friday-funny-top-20-cow-one-liners/